Three fingers pointing back at you

Obviously, Nancy’s latest post is insane. She rants and raves about Mochi’s wimpiness, which would make sense, except that Mochi performed injured. OK, she changed the choreography a little, but that means nothing–the dancers created the choreography, so it’s theirs to do with as they please.

Nancy trades in two kinds of gym teacher balderdash. The first: outright cliches (“There is no prize for second place in this competition”; “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”; “Don’t miss opportunities because you’re focused on obstacles”; “the show must go on”).

The second: sentences that sound like cliches until you take a closer look, at which point they reveal themselves as logic-defying bullshit. Here are eleven examples, all culled from one post:

Pumping Gas Down at the El Sebranti Shell

We’re not sure what to make of Nick’s audition freakout. Here’s how he explains it in his blog:

“I had mixed emotions about the audition challenge this week. Actually, to tell you the truth, I was a little offended. Allow me to expound with the following: I am a dancer and actor. So, being in a situation such as this does not bother me. I am secure enough in my manhood to not allow it to ‘freak me out’ in any sort of homophobic way. I do not, however, appreciate the way it was presented to Cody and myself. I felt as though we were being mocked. Answer me this: Why does everything have to be gay and straight? I’m an artist. Can’t I just be me without having to justify why I am and how I exist?

If I had real problems with anything or anyone homosexual, I would not be in the entertainment business — I would be pumping gas down at the El Sebranti Shell in Middletown, Oklahoma. No offense, Oklahoma. I have always been taught by my parents to be accepting of everyone no matter race, gender, sexual orientation, or creed.”

OK…we don’t really follow. “Why does everything have to be gay or straight?” In this case, because the setup was three gay or straight couples going mattress shopping.

The truth is, we think Nick is a good and funny writer (“The cast was tougher than a $2 steak off the Las Vegas strip in the dead of summer”), and almost certainly not homophobic. Agreed?

Michael Silas Keeps it Classy

From Michael’s blog:

“Miguel and I were able to work through this week’s challenge because I had to put on my fake face to deal with him. Let[']s face it, we do not work well together. He thinks he knows everything and comes off way too opinionated, and as you see on TV that comes off ugly. Well hell, that’s him and I guess that won’t change, but I sucked it up, kept it moving and added a lot of ideas.”

Let’s do a close reading! Notice that Mike doesn’t blame Miguel for being a bastard. Instead, he shoulders some of the blame, saying, “we do not work well together.” By writing that Miguel “comes off” as opinionated, he generously suggests that Miguel isn’t as shitty as he appears to be. And “Well hell, that’s him” indicates that Mike accepts Miguel for who he is, and doesn’t expect him to change.

Sixth dancer to go: Michael Silas

Our love for Mike is well documented. Still, we’re surprised he stuck around for as long as he did. He’s got plenty of talent, but no training–yet he outlasted hyper-trained dancers Tovah and Oscar. He deserved to go this week; shoot, he deserved to  go last week. Still, it’s sad to see the last of him. He’s a whiner and a drama queen, but he has a good heart, and his vulnerability makes us feel protective of him. We’re glad Miguel won’t be able to bully him anymore. Did you see the way Zarate clenched his fists with joy when Mike was eliminated? Gross, Miguel. Gross.

Miguel may be the better dancer, but it’s Michael Silas who became the bona fide sensation last month. If he’s clever enough, he can spin those Latin Boyz pics into gold. We’ll be rooting for him.